For women who want to stay in love — without leaving themselves.
You’re generous. You care deeply. You want your relationships to feel connected and easeful.
But sometimes, in your longing for harmony, you begin to disappear.
You defer. You override. You start living with one foot in — saying yes, staying close — and one foot quietly out, holding back the parts of you that feel too much, too tender, or too inconvenient.
This article is about that split.
And what it means to come home to yourself — fully.
It’s an invitation into the “Two Feet In” framework: a gentle practice of self-belonging that doesn’t require leaving love behind — but instead teaches you how to bring your whole self into it.
In This Article, You’ll Explore:
- What it really means to be “Two Feet In” — and how this shows up emotionally in your life and relationships
- The quiet ways self-abandonment can unfold — especially when you’re seeking peace, connection, or approval
- Why leaving yourself behind can feel safer (and how compassion helps you return)
- A story that brings the “one foot in, one foot out” pattern to life
- How to meet the part of you that isn’t fully here — with gentleness, not force
- A simple creative practice to help you re-root in your own self-belonging
What “Two Feet In” Really Means in Relationships
We often associate commitment with big decisions: who we love, where we live, what we say yes to. But emotional commitment is quieter — and often harder.
Being “two feet in” doesn’t mean staying no matter what — it means showing up fully for the life you’ve chosen. It means being honest with yourself. Rooted in your body. Clear about your needs. And willing to feel the truth of your experience, even when it’s inconvenient.
Many of the women I work with are living with one foot in and one foot out — often without even realizing it. They’ve learned to prioritize shallow connection over truth. Harmony over honesty. So one foot stays in the relationship, the role, the appearance of ease — while the other hovers quietly elsewhere: in fantasy, in fear, in self-protection.
But real belonging starts inside you. Before it can truly exist in relationship, it has to exist in your own body.
Why We Leave Ourselves in Love — And Why It Makes Sense
Before we can come home to ourselves, it helps to understand why we left.
Most women who abandon themselves in relationship aren’t doing it because they’re weak. They’re doing it because, at some point, it felt safer to disconnect than to risk conflict, rejection, or loss.
If your belonging once felt conditional — on being good, quiet, helpful, agreeable — it makes sense that parts of you learned to leave before they could be left.
Naming this helps us to meet ourselves with compassion — and begin to make a different choice.
One Foot In, One Foot Out: A Story of Emotional Disconnection
Not long ago, a dear friend came to me feeling unsettled. She had recently moved to a new country and was struggling to feel grounded. On paper, her life looked fine — a loving relationship, a home where her husband lived in before she arrived, good enough but not exactly her. But emotionally, she felt a bit distant. Disconnected. Homesick for her old life. Like a part of her hadn’t fully arrived.
As we talked, I asked her something that had helped others in similar moments: What if you looked at this from the framework of one foot in and one foot out?
Could it be that you still have one foot in the past — the life and friendships you’ve left behind — and aren’t fully here in this new country and life with your husband? If so, what if you had a conversation with the part of you that’s still not here? What is that part holding onto? What is that foot afraid of? What might it need in order to safely land here?
That conversation shifted a lot for my friend. It helped her see that her sense of homesickness wasn’t a flaw — it was a message. A call to tend to herself with more presence and care.
The idea of the “Two Feet In” became more than a mindset. It became a practice of self-relationship. Of re-anchoring. Of choosing to belong to yourself again and see what life you want to create from here.
How to Speak with the Part of You That Isn’t Fully Here
You don’t need to force yourself into presence. But you can be in conversation with the part of you that isn’t ready.
Try this:
- Sit somewhere quiet.
- Close your eyes. Feel into your body.
- Ask yourself: Is there a part of me that hasn’t fully landed here — in my relationship, my life, my body?
- See what shows up. Speak to her with kindness. Let her tell you what she needs.
This is the heart of self-belonging: learning to stay in relationship with yourself — so you can show up to others truthfully, without leaving yourself behind or only offering the 50% version of you.
The “Two Feet In” Map: A Creative Practice for Self-Belonging
This practice is simple, visual, and powerful.
Take an A3 sheet of paper. Some coloured pencils. Draw or write the things that help you feel most like yourself.
Think of the things that are important and meaningful to you. That bring you joy and make you come alive. Keep the relationship out for a moment if you are in relationship. Try not to tie this map to your romantic partner or your marriage but all the things that make you thrive outside of your relationship.
In my current map, you’d see things like…
- My home: A sanctuary, created with textures and colours that nourish me.
- My work and contribution: The women’s work I do, which holds purpose and feels meaningful.
- Family & Friendship: Deep, real, soul-anchored quality time, near and far.
- Awakening & Personal Growth: Wisdom teachings and practice I’m immersed in, personal edges I’m exploring.
- Nature: The beach, the desert, walks with my dog.
- Rituals: Movement. Stillness. Pockets-of-pleasure.
- Joyful anchors: Singing. Body-based joy. Beauty in the everyday.
Let your map become a mirror. Then ask yourself: What’s missing in your current life right now from the things you’ve written down? And what might you be ready to welcome back in? To create and cultivate?
Pick one item on your map. What would it look like to tend to that part of you this week — even in the smallest way?
You Can Come Home to Yourself
It’s okay if it’s taken time. If you’ve lived with one foot in and one foot out. If you’ve lost touch with your needs, your body, your voice.
You can come back.
Because when you show up for yourself with two feet in — wholehearted, rooted, and real — your life starts to feel like yours again.
From here you can then bring yourself more into your relationship — existing ones or those that are waiting for you.
When you know yourself, and make it a practice to connect with yourself, again and again, it will make it easier for you to show up in your relationships without abandoning yourself.
Of course, and this is important to highlight, the minor or major traumas that you carry which have led you to abandon yourself and your body in the first place, will have an impact on the time it takes to create new internal patterns making it safe enough for you to come home. What I am sharing here is a first step… yet you may realize that you will require more guidance and support from a skilled coach or therapist to help you make major shifts.
You are allowed to take up space in your own life.
With love,
Corinne
PS: When you’re ready to stop abandoning yourself, take up space and speak up with clarity and heart, here are a few ways we can stay connected:
- Explore more — blog posts and YouTube videos like this one, to support your return to self
- Work with me — through 1:1 coaching, group programs, or retreats rooted in truth, tenderness, and embodied belonging