Ways to Reconnect with Yourself After Losing Yourself in a Relationship

How solo dates and embodiment practices help empathic women return to their needs

If you’ve recently caught yourself thinking or saying, “I’ve lost touch with myself. I don’t even know what I need or want anymore,” — then this article is for you.

I hear this often from women who feel deeply, who can easily attune to everyone else’s emotional state but have gone quiet on their own. Women who are intuitive, thoughtful, and reliable — but who reach a point of overwhelm or resentment and think, “Wait… where did I go in all this?”
Why can’t I say what I need — or why does it only come to me much later, once the moment has already passed?

When Needs Go Quiet

We all have needs. But what happens when we tune them out for years?

Maybe you’ve grown up feeling and hearing that being easy and “low maintenance” is a virtue. Maybe you’ve been taught by a spiritual lineage that needs are a sign of attachment to worldly pleasures — and therefore bad for you.

There can be many different reasons women start abandoning themselves — and over time, those reasons compound.

Over time, your yeses and nos start to blur. You say yes because you don’t know what you feel. And when you don’t know what you feel, it’s hard to know what you need. And when you don’t know what you need, how do you know what to say yes or no to??

So you end up saying yes — because it’s easier. Or because someone needs you.

Until, maybe, your body says no for you. Or you find yourself increasingly unhappy in your relationship, with a deep well of resentment toward your partner for not seeing or respecting you.

But how can anyone respect your boundaries if you don’t share them? If you don’t even know what they are?

You say yes because you don’t know what you feel. And when you don’t know what you feel, it’s hard to know what you need.

Learning What You Want (and What You Don’t)

Many of us were raised to be “easy,” “selfless,” “low maintenance.” We were taught, in both subtle and overt ways, that having needs makes us needy. Or demanding.

And if you identify with being strong, capable, self-sufficient — the last thing you want is to be seen as “needy.” You might go to great lengths to avoid that label.

Expressing preferences can feel uncomfortable, even risky. So we tune them out. We attune instead to others’ moods, scan the emotional temperature in a room, and learn how to smooth over discomfort before it even starts.

But turning inward? Tuning into your own sensations? Naming what you feel and need? That takes real intention – and practice.

It doesn’t happen through a quick fix.

It’s a process. One that takes time, space, and the willingness to be with yourself in ways you may have avoided.

The cost of not doing this is high. It can show up as burnout, low-grade depression, or the sense that you’re simply existing — surviving, but not truly living.
You miss out on the joy, connection, and self-trust that come from knowing yourself — and from being truly met in your relationship.

Solo Dates: The Practice of Hearing Yourself Again

This is where solo dates come in. Not as a reward, but as a sensual, playful practice of re-attuning to your own desires. Your own pace. Your own rhythm.

A solo date isn’t another self-optimizing routine. It’s about giving yourself an experience you actually want to have. It’s a way to gain deeper insight into what brings you pleasure, joy, and delight. It’s about feeling fully alive.

It might look like:

• A spontaneous trip to a city that lights you up
• A quiet dinner in a beautiful setting with a novel and a glass of wine
• An afternoon stroll with no plan, letting your senses lead

These aren’t just moments of enjoyment. They’re invitations to rebuild the muscle of inner knowing. When you follow a true yes — even a small one — you begin to remember what a yes actually feels like.

And the more you remember your yeses, the clearer your nos become.

And yes, it can feel vulnerable at first — especially if you’ve spent years being externally focused, following your partner’s and/or your children’s interests, and prioritizing their needs and desires.

Sitting alone at a café without checking your phone. Choosing a restaurant just for you. Even walking without a destination can feel unfamiliar. That’s okay. You can start small.

These three questions are a beautiful place to begin:

• What do I want to feel today?
• What experience would bring me joy?
• What would my sensual, receptive, playful inner feminine like to experience?

From Paris to Pleasure: How Sensual Rituals Reawaken Your Feminine Spark

In a recent conversation with Natalie Goni, we spoke about how solo dates have supported us over the years. Natalie shared a moment from Paris — sitting at a street café with a glass of strawberries and cream, completely immersed in her senses. No agenda. No performance. Just pleasure.

For me, it’s often about smaller rituals: choosing what lingerie or outfit I want to wear just for me. Wandering a city without a plan. Letting myself meander and linger. Receive.

These are practices of joy, yes. But they’re also ways I intentionally tap into my feminine essence — which, in the pace of day-to-day life, can so easily get pushed aside.

Here’s the thing:

When I let my feminine take the lead, my sensuality gets activated. And when my sensuality is activated, I feel more alive – and more in my body, more available to pleasure. And all of that makes it so much easier to ignite the erotic spark between my husband and me — and to ask for what I truly want to experience.

When I let my feminine take the lead, my sensuality gets activated. And when my sensuality is activated, I feel more alive — and more able to ask for what I truly want.

The same is possible for you.

Why Embodiment Makes a Difference

Alongside solo dates, embodiment practices like the Non-linear Movement Method® have been essential in my journey. These aren’t intellectual exercises. They’re sensory. They help you track what you feel in your body — what nourishes you, what drains you.

Non-linear Movement invites you to move without choreography or agenda. It’s about letting your body lead. Over time, it helps you notice: this feels good, this doesn’t, this feels open, this creates tension. And the more you notice that on the mat, the more you notice it in life.

Too often we’re trained to notice tension and pain but not pleasure. Not aliveness. Not quiet resonance. Practices like Non-linear Movement — and the Sensual Awakening Pathway I guide — can reconnect you to your inner compass.

They help you learn to trust your felt sense, even when the words aren’t there yet.

Because clarity often comes through sensation. And over time, you begin to give those sensations language. Little by little.

An Invitation

If you find yourself feeling off, resentful, or depleted lately, pause and ask:

• What might I have needed in that moment?
• What might feel good to give myself now?

And maybe: What would a solo date look like this week?

It doesn’t have to be big. It just has to be real.

Even a solo coffee, a walk with no plan, or an hour wandering a bookstore can become a listening space — or as I like to call it, a feeling space.

Closing Thought

Reclaiming your yeses and nos isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about being present with yourself – in your body. Again and again.

From that place, boundaries become clearer — not as a defence, but as a natural expression of being at home in yourSelf.

Sometimes, the simplest date with yourself becomes the clearest mirror.

For more on this, head over to my YouTube and tune into my conversation with Natalie. We go deeper into how solo dates have helped us navigate big emotions like grief, anger, and sadness — the messier, more chaotic side of life we all move through.

We also explore the nuance of pleasure: The kind that nourishes us and is meant to be savoured — versus the kind we reach for to numb or avoid pain.

Much love,
Corinne

Reclaiming your yeses and nos isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about being present with yourself — in your body. Again and again.

P.S. When you’re ready to get to know yourself more deeply — to stop losing yourself in other people’s needs and start speaking up with clarity and heart — here are a few ways we can stay connected:

• Listen in: I go deeper into embodiment and how to stay connected to your vitality in this conversation with Brandi Mackenzie on her TENS podcast:
  • → How to Stay Lit Up & Feeling Alive
• Explore more: Blog posts and YouTube videos like this one — to keep exploring these ideas
• Work with me: Through 1:1 coaching, group programs, or retreats rooted in truth, tenderness, and embodied belonging.